Portfolio

Cover Letter
Dear English Class,
I have come to the decision on writing my portfolio and would like to explain to you why I chose the following. In getting to know these choices, I hope that you will know more about me as a writer.
First, I chose revision of my research paper. I decided to work on format and building on my research.  My research paper is about how lyrics in today’s popular music affect’s teenagers.  I did not format my paper right when citated my sources. I did not build on my research and instead made separate points. These are areas that need work.
Secondly, for my writing remix, I decided to make my blog post into a magazine article. Ma’Shinguyi’s loss of her son, Nhamo is discussed. I chose this post because I think that it correctly demonstrates her feelings in this time of mourning. The article is formatted for a magazine such as National Geographic. As we all know, it is a magazine that deals with actual events. My story line tells it from her point of view.
Thirdly, my hits and misses consist of four blog posts. Two that I liked doing, and two I didn’t like doing. First, I’ll address the ones I liked. In Defense of Band: A Flute Player’s Manifesto and My Weekend at the Delta were fun to write but were challenging at the same time. I chose the first two for my hits because I enjoy writing about topics that are of interest to me.   I missed on two blog posts. The first, Paper Summary, I did not enjoy the assignment. The second, Writing, I did not develop well. I could have done both of these with more enthusiasm and they would’ve turned out better.
Writing all year has taught me about the traits of good writing. Looking inward, I found sentence fluency, and a decent vocabulary to be my strongest writing skills. I have read books in the past, and I am learning how to use the vocabulary from other writers. I lack motivation, but consider myself a deep thinker who struggles with written expression. Writing projects can intimidate me at times, but I am learning how to set small goals rather than trying to take on the whole project at once.  I am learning how to use my love of reading as a vehicle to improve my writing skills.  I also need to work on word choice. I don’t use much variety in my writing, and I would like to expand my use of the English language. I could easily fix this by looking in a thesaurus. I also need to work on the content of my writing. I tend to write short essays, and I need to find a way to write in more detail and with better structure and organization. Perhaps I should work with other people to improve this weak spot of mine.
I have improved overall as a writer this year. I would say, by reading my essays and blog posts from the beginning to the end that I have matured. I have experienced new ways to write and different forms of writing. Learning the traits of good writing really helped me along the way. I could choose a trait of good writing and look through my paper to see what needed work in that area. I could make sure all of my sentences made sense, check my word choice, or use the other traits of good writing for editorial skills.
I have learned a lot about creative writing itself. I now know how to have a creative personal voice but still follow the rules of grammar. I know the mandatory format for my high school and college papers, MLA format. It was tough to get at first, but as I gained experience, I grew more comfortable using it.  Finally, over this year, I have learned that writing is not something I want to do, but writing is more rewarding if I embrace the assignment. To sum it up, creative writing is a positive experience if one focus’ on the paper, as well as develops a story, and writes it well.

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Morals in Music

As a fourteen year old, music is a big part of my life. I start to listen to what everyone else is listening to and it seems to have bad messages in the music. As time goes on, teenagers do things that are not exactly good for them, and I can’t help wonder if the music that we listen to has something to do with it. There is content in some music that encourages drinking and drugs. Some of these songs and the actions of the artists that sing them may be affecting the behavior of teenagers in a negative way. 

Whenever one listens to music, they get ‘the chills’ this is a release of the chemical dopamine in one’s brain. Music gets one on a ‘natural high’ (Scicurious) and teenagers like feeling like that, but the music essentially sends false messages to the teens that listen to this music that drugs and alcohol are okay. Being on this natural high may get the words and their morals stuck into their brain, and since teens associate the words in the music with the natural high, they will have good thoughts on whatever the song is saying. Even though music can get one on a ‘natural high’, some of the material in the music is not appropriate for some listeners. For example my little sister, Gifford, listens to music that has cussing and sex references in it and she is eight. This music is not meant for people her age. Usually this music is popular and currently featured on the radio so everyone is listening to it. Even though this music is popular, that does not mean that it is okay for younger ears. It is clear that teens are doing things that they should not be doing, and music may be part of the cause. 

In today’s world, one can see that teenagers are doing things that they might regret later on in life. Some of these things are drinking, taking risqué pictures and posting them on social media, and anything else that might ruin their reputation. Some of these actions may have to do with the music they listen to and the people that they role model. A study at Cornell University by Susan S. Lang says that teens think about the consequences, but decided that the popularity and acceptance is better. Teens want to be liked, but going to such an extreme to be liked is not advisable. 

Artists like Nicki Minaj and Ke$ha sing about drinking and drugs, and whenever teenagers listen to these songs, they might get the sense that doing those things are acceptable and that they will not get in trouble. These actions are getting more and more frequent and tend to start earlier and earlier as time go on. Kids begin thinking that they are grown up by the age of twelve, and think that they can go out and do whatever they want just to seem “mature” but, that is not maturity at all. Most of the actions like pictures with little to no clothing are taking place on social media which might be to blame, as well as their parents not keeping a closer eye on their children. Even though other things like social media are a big part of these things, music is one of the contributors that convince young audiences into thinking these actions are the only way to have fun. Some music even says that it is acceptable to abuse women verbally, sexually, and physically, and includes the singer doing it himself, and boys of a young age might think that it is cool to do stuff like that when it is not acceptable. 

Most teens have developed the habit to say things that can lead to them doing stupid things too. The phrases “Swag” and “YOLO” (you only live once) have come along and been part of their daily lives. Most people would think that a phrase like “YOLO” would be a good thing that would teach teens to do something good with their lives, but, they have used YOLO as an excuse to go out and do stupid things like get drunk and take drugs. They want to live in the moment and have fun but they do not think of the consequences that might come later. Swag was originally used for a wreath or to swagger, which is to swing while walking. This statement got transformed into having Swag, which is a term used whenever teens feel that something is cool, and can be used as a verb, noun, or adjective. Swag is also used as an excuse for the stupid things that they do. There is a saying commonly used whenever kids have bad grades and they do not have an excuse. This saying is, ‘Who needs good grades when you have swag?’ There are whole blogs dedicated to Swag including the one where the previous saying came from. One on Tumblr, called Swag Notes, posts pictures of teens drinking and smoking with captions and hash tags that are swag related. These things could very well affect their future and make it hard for them to get a job just because of some bad decisions that they made in their early years.  

Music may very well be a contributing factor to these actions and lack of culture. Listening to only a few artists will not broaden their outlook on music and let them explore different genres. Teenagers listen to music with bad messages and morals because it is fun to dance to or everyone else is listening to that kind of music, but genres like rap and pop have bad things in them and should not be exposed to teens that take these lyrics to heart. Whenever teens start to act on the lyrics that they here or the older celebrities that do dumb actions in public then they might do something that they later regret in life. If kids as young as the age of eleven start to think that they are grown up then they start to get ahead of themselves and end up in  bad situations. Even if kids do not take the lyrics seriously, the lyrics will eventually get into their brain just by listening and not comprehending. 

If a person a child sees as a role model does something stupid and it gets to be very popular, then the child that looks up to that person might get allured to doing whatever their role mode did and get in serious trouble. The child may not be thinking about his future and how those actions might mess it up. Say, a fifteen year old girl sees on Facebook that everyone else her age are posting half-naked pictures then she might be convinced that she will be socially accepted and boys will like her then, but later on in life when she tries to get a job, she applies but does not get the job. When she asks why she didn’t get the job, they tell her that they looked her up and saw those revealing pictures of her when she was fifteen. She may not have even remembered those pictures until that very moment. That is just one example of how just one bad action can affect their whole future. Kids and teens can easily get their priorities mixed up if they see someone doing something wrong and because that kid is popular, they might think that they will get to be popular too. 

Music can also be very distracting if played very loud or with lots of technical stuff in the background. As found in ‘Influence of Music on Youth’.  Dr. Dave Walsh states that “While soothing and relaxing background music may not hinder students' study skills… music with loud lyrics, abrupt changes in volume, or other distracting elements can lure our kids attention away from homework and into song.” Distraction from their work by the lyrics can lead to influence teens in a bad way. They will stop paying attention to their work and start paying attention to the song instead. If they pay attention to the song instead of their work, they will lose their thoughts and will only get filled up with the thoughts of the artists singing the song.  

One song that shows that music has reached a whole new level of lyrics is ‘Tipsy’, by J-Kwon. The first few lines of this song are, “Teen drinking, is very bad; Yo, I got a fake I.D. though,” and that is just the beginning. There are many inappropriate lyrics following, and this song is usually played at high school dances, which might convince that drinking is okay at their age. Tara Parker-Pope wrote that, “The average adolescent is exposed to approximately 84 references to explicit substance use per day and 591 references per week, or 30,732 references per year.” This means that teens are exposed to things that are not appropriate. With factors such as these so abundant in one’s life, they work themselves into ones brain, and essentially get into one’s life. 

Anyone can see that different artists have different audiences. Some artists may have smarter audiences then others. Virgil Griffith did his own study on how different music has different audiences and compared the SAT scores to one another. The artists like Beyoncé and Lil Wayne had the worst scores and Beethoven had the highest. This shows that music can affect school work and be a distraction, as well as a bad influence. One can see His actual results that he got at www.musicthatmakesyoudumb.com. Although that may not be the case for every artist, it is clear that music affects all of the things we do. The lyrics get into our heads and we act by it whether we know it or not. Ben Greenman wrote in his article ‘Pop Music’s Brain Drain’ about Virgil Griffiths findings and stated “According to Virgil Griffith’s research, students who listened to pop stars like Beyoncé and Lil Wayne are stupider than students who listen to Bob Dylan, Counting Crows, or Beethoven.” Beyoncé and Lil Wayne both have explicit lyrics in some of their songs. Although Bob Dylan and Counting Crows don’t have the cleanest songs, their content is more hidden with less techno sounds in the background. This kind of music can also be distracting so the people who are listening to Beyoncé are not focusing on their work, therefore, get lower scores than the people who listened to Beethoven. 

If kids are our future, then maybe they should know that there is more to life than having swag and being popular. Music that these teens listen to only encourages partying and drinking, and that is not the best way to live all of the time, because sometimes you have to get your work done instead of going out and having fun with your friends. Listening to music is a great way to express your feelings, especially by singing the lyrics, and some of the music with bad morals is ok, but not all of the time. Some of the popular music today has good stuff in it, but not all. Songs can be fun even if they are not about partying and getting drunk. Teens need to be taught discipline and lead in the right direction. Without guidance, teens can lose their way and end up in situations that are very hard to get out of and they might regret later. 

Music is a fun way to pass time, but if the morals are in the wrong place, then they might lead their listeners down a wrong path and distract them from their studies. If all of the music that is on the radio is filled with trash and other things, then teens might get the wrong idea that these things are good to do and that they will not get in trouble for these things. It’s okay for teens to listen to this kind of music, but if they do, then they need to be reminded every once in a while that the things that they sing about are not right. That if they do go out and party and dink, then they will have consequences. If they are taught and directed early on, then they might make better choices in life and be more successful over all. 

Citations

Greenman, Ben. "Pop Musics Brain Drain." The New Yorker. N.p., 13 Mar. 2009. 

Web. 11 Jan. 2013. <http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/goingson/2009/ 

03/pop-musics-brai.html>.

Parker- Pope, Tara. "Under the Influence of…Music?" NY Times. N.p., 5 Feb. 2008. 

Web. 20 Feb. 2013. <http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/02/05/ 

under-the-influence-ofmusic/>.

Music That Makes You Dumb. Virgil Griffith, n.d. Web. 25 Jan. 2013.     

<http://musicthatmakesyoudumb.virgil.gr/>.

Scicurious. "This Is Your Brain on Music." Sciencetopia. N.p., 31 Jan. 2011. 

Web. 14 Jan. 2013. <http://scientopia.org/blogs/scicurious/2011/01/31/ 

this-is-your-brain-on-music/>.

Walsh, Dave, Dr. "Influence of Music on Youth." Dr. Dave: Mind Positive 

Parenting. Dave Walsh, 21 Feb. 2011. Web. 19 Feb. 2013. 

<http://drdavewalsh.com/posts/39>.

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Writing Center Meeting

On April 18, 2013, I made my way to the writing center. I was nervous, but I sucked it up and went in. I met Aly, who would then help me on my research paper. I was pretty shy and not saying much, but we got along well and we did make progress on my essay. She first helped me fix my formatting. That wasn’t that hard so we did it quickly. 

For building on my research, she gave me helpful pointers because we didn’t have much time. She told me ways to connect my research to my thesis and how to evaluate and expand on a quote. We put some edits and starters to help me edit in bold print so I could find them later. Aly helped me a lot and I think she is really smart and pretty. Overall, I liked going to the writing center even though it made me a little nervous.

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Mom Ma’Shingayi Loses Her Son, Nhamo

Nhamo was a very active student at the Privet school, The Mission. He was supposed to come home and see his family one day but earlier that week he started complaining about neck pains. His uncle, Babamukuru, sent him to the hospital, but it was too late. He died in the hospital with suspected mumps. The day Nhamo was supposed to come home, Babamukuru went to tell his mother and father, Ma’Shingayi and Jeremiah. When Babamukuru arrived to deliver the bad news, before a single word was spoken, Ma’Shingayi seemed to know what had happened. She collapsed on the hard dirt ground, cringing and sobbing. She describes “My poor Nhamo. Dead. My only son. The pain was, it was unbearable. My heart would surely break from all of the grief and pressure. I was no longer crying, I wasn't sobbing either. Noises that were not human came up from my mouth. I knew nothing other than that my dear son, Nhamo, was dead.” Babamukuru delivered all of the details to family and decided that another member of the family should go to the privet school. They decided on his younger sister, Tambu. At first, Ma’Shingayi refused to let her go, but then decided it would be okay even though her conscious was telling her not let her go.  

 

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Rhetorical Situation

Audience: This writing piece is meant for an audience reading this real world magazine. I choose his audience because I like to read magazines as well. My audience changed from someone who wanted Ma’Shingayi’s inner thoughts to someone who just wanted the story. 

Purpose: The audience needs to know some general knowledge about Africa as a country. I want to show them what is going on in Africa. I want them to be aware that children are dying and don’t get help in time. At first, this was just an emotional blog post, now it is written like a story about Africa.

Stance: My stance was a sad one; I wanted to truly express her grief in losing her son. My stance did not change very much from my original post.

  Genre/Medium/Design:  I used both paintings and pictures like there would be in a magazine. I really like both of the paintings and the black and white picture at the bottom. I tried to make it as real like as possible. Magazine like in style. 

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Hits and Misses

Hits

In Defense of Band: A Flute Player’s Manifesto

Band. What comes to your mind? A pop or rock idol singing on the stage when you so recently went to their concert? Maybe. But a school band? Probably a bunch of nerds spitting into oversized instruments playing classical music played Mozart or Bach. If you even know who they are. The truth is that band can be somewhat "cool". We play all kinds of music in band. Talk to anyone in band and I can almost guarantee that they will say that their instrument is hard to play. I my mind music is essential to the soul. All of those movies you watch have background music to them which makes the movie more dramatic or romantic. Who composes that music you ask? Band players. Or at least, started out as band players, and then became orchestra conductors and music composers.

Much of the music we play in band is from popular movies, like Titanic. Yes, I know, It’s pretty amazing. Last year the high school band played "My Heart Will Go On” and other pieces from the movie. The wind ensemble(which I'm proud to say I was invited to) played Pirates of the Caribbean. Yeah it was awesome. We will probably play music from more popular movies this year too.

Playing the flute is not an easy job. There is about fifty fingerings, a certain way to blow into the flute depending on what kind of pitch you want, tuning(the nightmare), learning where the notes are on the music and finding the corresponding fingerings to them, and doing all this while paying attention to the conductor and not getting out of beat. Not to mention that I can't see what I am doing. And I am a beginner on the flute too. As you get more experienced, more things come along, like blending, listening to the other band members, and demanding pressure on you on stage as you stand for your solo. Any instrument is hard to play. When I was in fifth grade, Mr. Taranto sent out invitations to go to an "instrument petting zoo". I have always wanted to learn to play the flute, and this was my chance. I got there and they let me blow into the flute. He said that i would be a good flute player. I was so excited! We had a lot of students in band at first, at least thirty, but over time people dropped out and only twelve were left in the class of 2016 band. I am the only flute player. Band is not an easy thing just for nerds who can't play sports. I am also on the swim team. Don't judge a band by its cover. :)         

My weekend at the Delta

So, on Friday, after school, I go over to my locker and head to the chapel to get in the car. I get in our little minivan and start heading down the road. We stop twice on the way there and then finally arrived at Delta Marsh Camp. It is dark already, but Turtle (That's what we call Mr. Johnny) got my sister and me to get in the electric buggy to go and see the main camp. We get a nice tour of the camp, but when we walked back outside, My W the buggy was on fire! It was totally engulfed in flames. Mr. Johnny(Turtle) grabbed the garden hose next to the burning buggy and started to yell for help. We finally got it out and the police arrived shortly after words (nice timing). And that was just our first night.

The next morning we went to the Ole Miss vs. Arkansas basketball game. About halfway through the first quarter, the power went out. It was on national TV, too. What could be next? We went to Leland's beauty pageant at her school next, and, she won! We were all so happy! When we got back we were all so exhausted. The next day was fun too! I took a ton of good pictures of the dogs and the sunset. We ate dinner at the main camp, which did not burn down on Friday (Thank God). Then, on Monday, it was time to go back. I had a great time at the Camp and I hope to go back soon.     

Misses

Paper Summary

1. At first, I did not get a good start on my paper. I was lagging behind, but, I caught up. It was hard to do, but I managed. Some of the hardest parts for me was telling if the source was reliable or not. I tried to tell if it was or not, but I always ended up doubting myself and the source. The easiest part was the actual writing. I kind of ranted a bit, but I think I did it quite well, considering that I am me. If I could do anything differently, it would be to start off better. No suggestions, you're a good teacher.

2. I received very good feedback from peers and Dr. D. I listened to their advice and acted on it. Thanks to all that helped me make my paper better and was nice doing so.

3.  My weak points would be organization and dragging out. I tend to drone on about only one subject and get everyone bored. Not a good thing to have on papers, but sometimes it just slips. I also have a hard time letting anyone read my paper, especially if I'm in the room or not done with it.

4.  Sorry for trailing behind so much.

Writing

I am a writer who puts a lot of emphasis on my voice. Sometimes, I feel like I use too much voice, like it's a formal writing and I feel like I am just talking it too them and not giving a report or essay. I bet you can hear it now. My informal way of writing will eventually hurt me. I sometimes feel like I write like a second grader. Or, sometimes I write something and at the moment, it seems so awesome, then I go back to read it, and it sounds so stupid.

I think I need to feel better about my writing, I think everyone has this problem, and we just have to trust that it sounds okay. I could work on my writing and spelling (need a lot of help there), and maybe I will start to become more confident in my writing self. <3